here we go again

here comes the challenge for this year, or should I say this Ramadhan? my body (physically and mentally) are in the process of adjusting and adapting with the new 'routine' that I'll be facing this upcoming practicum. my body is really exhausted. I felt tired and need more sleep. but the most part that I really feel sad about is I can't break fasting with my parents. this year, the test that Allah gives takes a whole new level. you can't break fasting with your family for the first week, you teach the kids during the fasting month, I can foresee that myself will be having a quite tough time during the practicum. I was planning to escape from Ipoh for a little while but tsk, seems my budget is very very tight. I got nowhere to go. it is so frustrating you see for not being able to escape for a while and takes a little mini trip. being in the system of education for Malaysia specifically makes me feel the frustration. I don't know. it seems like that. when there's a new minister come up on stage, they start to introduce something new and build it. but when the next new minister won, they crack their heads again, destroy the old ones, make something new again. so, whose suffering? you tell me.

so, for this time being, I just follow the flow and thinking what's going to happen next so that I can prepare myself. I'm not that kind of person who can sit and fit into the system. the most horrifying part being part of the system is you just do of what people tell you to do regarding of the consequences that's going to take. you literally can't voice out what you got. unlike any other countries, ours, politics are making their involvements into the education. therefore I find it this system is unpleasant and not clean as I expected to be. but then again, teaching profession is an honorable job to do. you will get lots of good deeds if you did it the right way. yes, to be honest, this is my last resort and ayah made me chose. but you see, I got nothing to lose for this very moment. I got the allowance even though it takes a long time to get. that's I'm really grateful the most. or else, by the age of 45 to 50's, I'm still struggling to pay the loan of ptptn. another thing is, I got 5 years contract, after than, I'm thinking of something that can take me to travel the world. I'd always wanted a job that can make me travel around asia, the west, or the europe.

but, InsyaAllah, I want to see how further can I go. if I could further my study into a master level, I would continue it. because as far as I know, I don't want to sit in the room's teachers for the rest of my life no. I have a target and objective so that by the end, I can settle things down blissfully. happy praktikum for all the teachers' trainees, Januari intake 2011. :)


-R