new level

I’ve been feeding the process of acceptance at my own pace. Trying hard not to driven by ego and pride. I just keep on accepting on what kind of reaction that every person gives. Different person, different reaction. I am still keeping my policy of staying committed on what I do, and what I plan but boundless passion and interest are still leaving me unnoticed. In fact, it was never been there before. It’s not easy to be a passionate educator when you have this whole massive people that counting on you hoping and expecting each of their children magically would turn out to be a genius. During the ups and downs, I kept telling myself why I couldn’t push myself harder or is this all that I’ve got? Inside, I know, I still got more and I’m waiting for the right moment to prove at myself personally. I don’t want to prove to anybody cause that would be a waste of time. People would always see you and judge you. If I busting my ass to work for other people, then what do I have left for myself? Which is another reason why this site is unnoticeable except from few people that I don’t know whether they are still exist or had stopped from blogging ages ago.  

I’ll be finishing my years of study in IPG Ipoh soon. The previous levels had past. I have to admit, my life sucks sometimes in Ipoh. Found and faced with bitches, best friends, douchebags, gentleman and keepers all over the places. Problems always unavoidable, mistakes were made ‘perfectly’, I build and control my emotions. Pretty much mature compared to those years where I kept sulking, crying and complaining about everything. I’m a late bloomer of building myself up as a person or individual, I could not be like any those girls who could control their anger and emotions rather professionally in the age of 18 or 19 no, I rebelled.

So, I am now at a new level.

The new level to complement my ending.  But you see, to grumble to all these things are like staring at the ceiling hoping that it soon will turn into clouds. I can’t stop now. Not now at least. Keep going, just keep going.

(stole some time in the staff room)

-R