d-day

I believe in my story, idea won't come twice. at least not for me. once I got flicked by the bulb above my head, I would get out of bed and ended up sitting in front of my laptop even though it's 3 o'clock in the morning and this is, this is one of the perfect time. God, I miss you blog. now it's August and I'm about to complete my study in Ipoh!gahhh how time flies. honestly, I can't wait. it's in between I guess. I wanna end this misery really soon and at the same time, I want it to stop for a while, I would walk around, watching people in slow motion and embrace what I had for half a decade. damn, I feel old. and one thing I should tell you is, I'm currently having the verge of desperation. desperation where you want someone that you could have. because most of your friends are going to smile broadly while holding flowers in their hands, wearing the perfect dress they could ever own, holding tight to the hands where it's going to lead you to hell or heaven. it's the wedding and the marriage. when each of them broke the news it feels like a big slap of my face and I feel wounded. this is the moment where I have gone desperate and I'll just grab anyone I want from the crowd, pinpoint and grab one.haha. but rationally, I don't do desperate, thank god for that. it's because I believe this set of stage would move on soon but I probably still standing at the station where most of my friends have left the train. when they can't wait to set a theme for their wedding, I can't wait to watch Guardians of Galaxy with my friends. it's just this life sometimes, the bliss and the sadness that you could rejoice it at the same moment. I still have a life bucket list to be achieved, I wanna do that but, I wanna keep in pace where I could share something with my friends that tickles our hearts and make my heart skip a beat as well. you know, it's been like almost 6 years I haven't go and date out anyone since I was in secondary school and I'm sure it's going to be awkward. I took my SPM result but left my love story there. remember when you were a teenager, still innocent and not sure what 'he likes you' would make you feel, don't know how to react, how to make a move, what you should do to make him responds back to you, I'm becoming that girl again. but this is what He plans I know, I don't have a final say for this. the only thing I could do now is go through a normal life as usual, set aside 'this' for a while, move on. 

I wanna congratulate to all my friends whose going to get married soon, happy weddings!  :)


-R

:)