life lesson from kids

If I were a novelist, I probably had written more than 20 books this year. But sadly, I’m not up to that level tho. I’m still struggling finding the right words to spill in. so, how’s life so far? Work life? Monotonous. I miss my study year. Full of challenges, bitter and sweet. But I’m glad that I never look back with regrets. Alhamdulillah I enjoyed almost every moment I spent there. And there goes my youth and welcome to an adultery life, Plain and monotonous. Life’s totally different and changing. From a worry-life into thinking of other people’s life. My students’ life to be exact. I probably should say that I learn a lot about a life lesson more than my students, cause I observed them in each every lesson that I taught. Through discussions, questions and answers, converse with them. Life is hard you know? Pouring them knowledge is another thing, but other perspectives? are difficult. Learning from kids who came from fragile, broken, low class families really gave me a hard time. how life could be this difficult? My initial goal when I first came to school is to make sure that they would understand English, know how to speak English and know how to spell in English. But now, when taking glances back at their backgrounds just keep me thinking, as long as you be kind, respect others, that should do it. I modify their behaviour more rather than teaching English and I gotta tell you this, honestly, I don’t want my students growing up and carry intelligent minds with shitty attitudes.

Spending a life as a worker or as a middle-class worker to be exact is like eating a plain bread. You are given some jams like strawberry, Nutella or whatsoever but, if you tried to be creative or different, people would put you into spotlight or rather take away your bread. And all you have left is the empty hands. And for the records, in 2-3 years forwards, I’m gonna buy my own freaking bread and jam. Just watch me.

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oddly placed

I need a new routine.

Anything.

Anything that can help me to escape from this cocoon for a while. I want to revise back all the courses that I’d learned in maktab such as linguistics, phonetics and phonology, language assessment, language study, anything. I feel like my thinking level has dropped. Because you see, I’m teaching phase 1 students and there’s not much of a challenge in a sense of thinking like sharpening my own understanding and it’s pretty basic. I’m not saying I’m superb in English Language but it’s happening. Last weekend, when I replaced my mentor’s class for year 6 class, my understanding has gone rustic. I couldn’t explain much to the students about the certain answers. I mean, why we have to choose that answers, what’s the reason? When I was explaining to them, I’m having a self-doubt as well and as a language teacher, it isn’t good to be in such condition. The condition where you are even not sure yourself about the answers you’ve given. Damn, it’s happening. It’s really happening. I want to be able to explain the certain rules again just like we did at maktab. When people ask you why you need to add +ing after is or are, I want to be able to answer it with a valid reason. Either your call it as a gerund or whatsoever but the kind valid answers at least.

It’s falling apart isn’t it?

And which is why I decided to download exam questions just to find a challenge for myself as well as sharpening the skill again. I’m a language teacher after all. An English Language Teacher. What’s the point of calling yourself a language teacher if you were not able to give a reason why..