terrible Affliction

What is your reaction when some of your friends said something that hurt your feeling straight forward without thinking the consequences?

if you ask me...what is my reaction......i will slap her and say something horrible that you can ever imagine and say something that i have kept before. it's like a bomb, once you pull it, it will blow up. but, i'm sure you know that i'll never do that. because i know the consequences. so, the opposite thing is...you'll suffer..suffer the feeling alone. you can't really tell what is your feeling, emotion towards your friends because it didn't come out so easily. Dr. Aidh Bin Abdullah Al-Qarni quoted that if you angry....you just remain silent and keep you mouth shut. let you friend say what he/she wants to say..don't you ever talk. just let her/him do the talking. that's what i did....that's what i did. but, of course...after that you will feel sad and keep questioning why? why? why me? how could him/her....? am i to wicked?

so...i go back to my room and crying alone.....i cry because i believe that cry is one of the best cure. sometimes, crying is better than talking. i cry as much as i can in that moment because since my roommate did not return yet. so, it gives me some space. you don't know how it feels...when you've been hurt by some one else..Rasulullah S.a.w said the people's tongue is more sharp than a sword. and that's really tell you....exactly true. i've never been hurt like this before. so, it's like an electrical shock to me when some body said that. like 'Ya Allah.....what happen?' at first i didn't know where did i go wrong...so, that is why i was crying while thinking....'Rushy...what did you do until some body said like that to you? reflect yourself again..what happen..' but of course...i can't accept it. honestly i said...i can't..do you feel so noble and innocent when you said that? talking like you never hurt others feeling before? talking like you've never commit a sin before..is it like that?

it's not like i really can't accept it..but, do you have to say it out loud? do you need to say in front of my other friends? i feel so terrible..embarrassing...in front of others. i was so shock...until i didn't move. i thought it was some kind of stupid joke but looks like it's not. and i'm sure that next time they will look in me in a different perspective. seriously...i feel so terrible..

so, i performed a Zohor prayer and when i prostrated, i told Him everything...i asked for His help and forgive me for not being a good friend. i asked to forgive my friend who has hurt my feeling. even though this hatred is hard to rub off. i don't know how am i going to behave after this...keeping on mourning or smiling. how can i know whether today is THE EMOTION DAY..i'm not a physic whatsoever..i cannot predict if my friends got a bad day, emo day, laughing day, sad day, mourning day....so, that is why i just act natural. natural just like ordinary me. but, loos like i have touch the unnecessary thing that i should never ever touch before. it gives me the effect and this is what happen...because once i feel down, it's hard for me to get up and keep my head held high again.
 
but, little did i know....i don't think that i'll talk to her again, the broken glass will take time to repair it back or maybe cannot be repaired anymore. when something is broken and cannot be use anymore, we need to throw it to the dustbin and forget it........