cause I cried in the 1st July.like a lott.It's private and ugly.everything seems scattered apart from me.why every months aren't being nice to me? or should I put the blame on myself? you know.I'm kinda person that keep a lot.
I keep things a lot in my head and I started to get drown by my own thoughts.and most of them are negative craps.It's pathetic to put on a fake smile around people.I'm tired.but, I'm still not giving up fighting for my happiness because I know it's out there somewhere waiting for me.and I wanna grasp that happiness.not to say that I'm faking my smiles 24/7,but there some times that I need to.
honestly,I'm really happy on what I have now.Good friends,average grades,simple clothes,and stuff.mind you that I'm still growing up to be mature and facing the reality and for the record,reality is ugly.you never feel good enough.so,that's what I'm learning now.but, in the future, when I become an English teacher and a mother, I just want my students and my kids now that for some reasons,
it's worth fighting for.. :)
R-
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