weds and hols

my heart feels heavy to bring myself present this Sunday. Back to square one, work. man..life has been so surprising and suppressing as days go by. two of the nieces are officially married but I hope their wedding dresses shaped like pastries. If you don't know what I'm talking about well, I guess that's just between me and my family. it's family matters. I just have to be honest, it sucks to have a big family sometimes. at the end of the day, I just want a simple family who had 2-3 kids and that's probably good enough for me. anyway, looking at how my friends are married(fyi last night my two secondary classmates were married at the same night last night, such a great opportunity to watch), my nieces are married, it made me feel more comfortable by living like this. I mean, I don't have to worry about waking up 4-5 in the morning to make breakfast for my kids just yet and ironing my men's clothes or washing, them yet. I'm still liking this kind of life. I still don't want to let go and probably, I'm still not ready to share my food with somebody. and most probably because I still couldn't let go of my first love. I know I'm being such an over dramatic women who being sad over someone who isn't care or think about me anymore.I know, it's just, it's a very sad sad situation. I gotta admit I cried sometimes whenever I think about him or his favorite songs played on the radio. If I was just an another girl then I'm ashamed to say that I'm not over you. I did.

I wonder how did you sleep at night after you broke my heart.

but as many people said, shits happened, life must go on. this life isn't just about you. I know I'm not the only person in this pathetic world who cried over someone and being brokenhearted. Human hearts are fragile, we just couldn't avoid that.

okay so switch off the sad part now let's go to the good part.

will have a graduation day this June InsyaAllah, I can't wait to meet J7 again. we'll be rocking out the robes haha. I wanna see how many of my friends have changed either physically or emotionally. but, I'll be just glad that I could meet them again face to face. btw, this short one week holiday was pretty much epic cause it's pretty much different now. since I have my own job, I could walk the talk. you know, if I wanted to buy something then, I'll buy it. there's no more "no money no talk" phrase. just for this temporary moment haha. But my life has been better Alhamdulillah. the work burden just like the usual. Still carrying those big ass works, tons of it. will be going off to Muar tonight. Hoping for a smooth ride and will switch on to the lone ranger survivor mode!

Yours truly,
Rushy