end of March

I gotta be honest. It's really hard to move on. at least, for me. it's really hard. now I realized why I'm difficult to love. I hold to things that don't exist anymore for a long time. It's very hard for me to let go. I want to be fine. I really want to wake up one morning and forget everything about him. I want to be able to smile without pretending that I'm hurt inside. I do think of him. every now and then. It's been so hard for me. It's already end of March and I still keep holding to things that don't exist anymore. we will never go back to that place again even if one day, we bumped with each other. I'm just gonna smile and be professional. Though half of me still blaming him, but I'm just going to smile. there's nothing else that we can do. one of us has to move on. Bet he's getting married just like my other old flames. I don't know why I ended up falling in love with people that I can't have.

but anyway, enough with pathetic relationship of mine. despite from workplace a.k.a hell, everything is fine. I hope April doesn't bring anymore surprises cause last year, he came back on April. yeah, April's fool to me. but one thing that I really really really really, really, really wish for this year, is to find my other half. please..I think it's time for me to meet my happy ending. (tho I'm not sure how I'm gonna get married with a tight budget but still!)

please just don't let me be alone this year.

Love,
Rushy