i wanna change...but, let me do it slowly..~~

i must say that since i stay here and study in IPGM Ipoh Campus, my life starts to change and my personality also slowly change. it has change in a good way. especially with Him...i feel like very close to Him than before. it doesn't mean that i never close to Him but before this, i hardly can focus on prayer and it was really hard for me to focus in 'solat'. i always thinking about something or to be exact always thinking about world things. plus, i prayed last minute and just for a sake of do my responsibility. it was like a burden for me...

but, after get to know seniors who is always guide me in a right path, i feel really calm. everytime i'm with them, it feel like i close to Him also. i feel very lucky to be their friends because as we all know that humans always make a mistakes and it is other people's duty to wake us up. if i go to the wrong path someday, at least there's a people behind me and support me and say 'this is not right and against THE RULES..' we never know that we make a mistake. only other people can see our imperfection not us.

furthermore, i tend to get more focus in prayer. everytime i stand a prayer, i will correct my intention and act like Allah s.w.t is in front of me and when i do that, there's only one feeling in my heart...is 'ashamed'. i'm so ashamed to Him for what that i've done in my entire life. i'm scared to look up every time i pray. and that's make me more focus on solat. and you know what? i really really feel that He looks at me! Subhanallah~~ i hope you will have the same feeling like me. i wish that you feel what i'm going through...everytime i think about my past, i feel sad because i think i don't really make a good deeds in the past. maybe a few...compare with my sins are like a mountain while my good deeds are like an ashes or smokes in the air.but, i'm very thankful to Allah s.w.t because He gives me a way in this life before it's too late. compare with some of my friends, they still floating and floating, don't know which way to go. they still don't know which is the perfect place to them. some of them are just follow the flow..i hope my faith is not going anywhere and always standing my side. insyaAllah~~ =)