Lies

sometimes you have to lie to keep everything on track. to keep it that way, because you know what the implication onwards. but, sometimes its not good to lie, it will hurt people's feeling. so, what is lie is all about? to be honest, i lie..well, quiet many times. especially when it involves with 'economical' situation. you see, as you already know, to be a student is not easy cause you have to be smart in saving your money. its all depend on you...to cut short, the money is in your hands...i don't know, seems like budget plan do not working recently..(my roomate is eating nasi kerabu!!!arrggh, freaking delicious!)

and now, i got rm3 left in my wallet..this weekend is Mahabbah Program and i don't know with what i'm gonna pay for them. sounds pathetic right? umm...i'm used to it. yup, i've already get used to it. have no money left, just eat meggi, and if meggi is out of stock, borrow some money from your nice and kind friends, and then waiting for the allowance. but, not all things work smoothly right...you know, i'm tired of borrowing money from my friends because actually i'm not that type of person. i dont know why suddenly here, i simply ask some money to borrow it. then, i realized it and say 'how stupid i am!' that is why i stop borrowing money from friends. otherwise, i also want to avoid from asking my friends to buy me something cause there's one KIND AND NOBLE PERSON who slow talk with my roomate, she state that she don't like it. so, THANK YOU VERY MUCH to her cause without her, i would not realize my mistake..well, i accepted sincerely.

everytime my cousin ask me 'you still got money?' i hesitate to answer cause i dont wanna tell the truth that i dont really have money. but, i will always answer 'yeah, its fine..still got money.' and if i'm run out of money, i'll say 'dont worry, i know what to do' eventhough my heart is screaming and shouting 'yes!yes!yes!i want money..aargghhh!!i want money right now!!' really in a desperate way..but, its funny though. the thing is, i dont wanna let other person get into trouble because of me. so, it's like 'its your fault, you handle it on your own'. that is why i keep motivating myself that i can solve any kind of problems. yes, i know sometimes you might want to cry alone. but, i'm trying to avoid that. i want to be a tough person, i want to be a person who keep smiling even though my his heart is breaking into pieces, the person who believe that he can fly, the person who has faith in their soul. i want to be as tough as i can. InsyaAllah..

i hope i still survive, waiting for next allowance...muahahah..money can't control my life. i want to be the person who always HAPPY even though i dont have a single coin in my pocket. i know and i believe, there's always something hiding besides what happened...and i BELIEVE in ALLAH S.W.T... =)