changed

when I was a kid, I really enjoyed going to the zoo. there's was a different kind of excitement. I got to see and feed the animals. the seals jumped from water and entertained us with some funny movements. I held a snake once. once when I still did not know what need to be scared of. 

now,
the feelings changed.

I admitted that I was thrilled to visit the zoo again finally, since childhood. Once I entered the zoo, still got the excitement going on in my mind, couldn't wait to see the animals. when I passed two three cages of lions, leopard, giraffe, pink flamingos and took some pictures, something stuck. my feelings. It didn't feel right. I thought that 'I supposed to feel happy but why didn't I?'. I smiled when I looked at the camels and giraffe but when when they looked back at me, I felt awkward by standing there, in front of them. 'is this how it supposed to be?'. I tried to enjoy my trip with other classmates but I felt numb in the inside. I was quite angry of myself for the dissatisfaction. 

after going back from that trip, there was still confusion in my head of what happened that day. because before this, I even made promised to myself that I wanted to visit the zoo again because it's been ages that I haven't go there. but when it comes the time, I wasn't have that blissfully feeling at all. 

but then it struck me,

it doesn't supposed to be that way. because once when you grow older, your feelings changed, your emotions changed, your attitude changed, your styles changed, your thinking, changed. when I was a kid, I just think about me not to the other people or creatures. when you grow up, you start to think about others. put yourself in someone else's shoes. I imagined myself switched side from that giraffe that stared at me. are you happy being locked down,chased away or being caged far away from your home and the possibility of you to go back home is zero percent? think about it. I want them to feel the freedom that they used to feel. sleep, eat, play in their own places. not half of brick walls with 6 feet tall. you don't have the chance or opportunity to hunt or find the food on your own, you don't have the initiatives to learn how to survive when danger comes. you get fed, you get cured by others.it sucks. the zoo sucks. I don't want to visit that place again.