Confidence isn’t
something that you could buy at the store. It’s not something you can touch.
It’s not physical. And I think, if they sell confidence at the store like they
sell clothes or food, I would buy it. fact, I’m gonna shopped confidence like
crazy. I’m gonna buy each and every month and kept it in my closet. I’d kept in
my closet and whenever I felt down then I could just open my closet and grab
it.
I want
confidence to fight against my doubt. If confidence was like a pet I would
definitely buy one. And for me doubt is like a cockroach, or rat, or lizard or
whatever you wanna call those ugly little beasts. I always have doubt on
myself. Feeling like I couldn’t keep score. I couldn’t keep up with what life
has to offer me. I was fighting alone with myself. Whenever I wanna make a life
decision, I hated when someone says “It’s up to you now.” Cause I’d started to
panic and bewildered. And I felt lonely all of the sudden. I know that at the
end of the day I could still do it but to start, I would have a conflict with
myself.
At first, I
thought I couldn’t do it but at the end of the day, people were surprised that
I could do it.
My confidence
isn’t up to the par. But if you let me to speak in front of the crowded people,
I would. If there’s no one who was brave enough to present a project that we
did in group, I would definitely offer myself. But as a starter, I didn’t know
where I found that courage. There were so many things already happened which I
couldn’t believe I could do it. but at the end of the day, I could. Such as:
1.
Backpack
travel to Medan, Indonesia (with travel partner, Miss Shahida Aziz)
2.
Completed
my TESL Degree.
3.
Achieved
SPM with flying colours.
4.
Play
a guitar.
5.
Roller
Blade.
6.
Swim
(now I’m not sure whether I still remember it or not, it’s been ages.)
I guess, the
things that you did, came from within. He whispers to your heart that you could
do it as long as you hold to His will. I bet my whole life for Allah. My works,
my life, my survival. He has brought me the impossible to possible. He makes me
to keep moving. Allah is everything you know. I couldn’t live without Him. So
now I think, what has brought me into this, is Allah..And of course,
because of my parents’ blessing. If not, I did not know what happened to me
today. Alhamdulillah..
So now, I have
another goal yet to be scored. And may Allah eases everything, insyaAllah
Amin..
Goals before 30:
1.
Own
a car.
2.
Get
Master on TESL.
3.
Get
married.
There are maybe
not a lot but those three already big challenge for me to achieved esp the
third one.
Wish me luck,
will you?
No comments:
Post a Comment