It’s been too much lately. I feel like I just wanna drop everything and disappear and go somewhere. The work has been too much. people expecting too much. and kids are still the same. Stubborn, wild and inattentive. And the weather climate is getting high as the time goes by. Nothing has been improving really. I don’t know which one is better. Improving or getting worse. It’s probably the worst case scenario happening to me now. I guess that’s what happened when it’s just getting fucked up and you realised you didn’t know how to fix. I mean to know HOW to fix. When part of you is losing, it’s started to go haywire. When somebody tries to mess within you, all you do is mourning towards that and I blame him for that. my routine hasn’t really gone productively lately and I still blame him for that. it’s all because of him. I’m not trying to think about it but somehow it just came. and it interrupts everything. God I even said ‘speed-track’ to pegawai ppd today when I wanted to say was ‘fast-track’. And don’t forget about how I consume food. it hasn’t really go on a healthy level. I just fried half of the French fries in the packet and ate all of them. Then had a nap which is why I’m getting a bloated tummy. There’s no use of working out when you’re not taking care of your body.

Honestly for now, just in case if anyone asked me what to do with my life I probably don’t have a fine answer for that.

I screwed up.