it's May for real

hey

May has been quite a challenging month. last time I said people in my workplace are getting bitchier than ever, now I hope the school would burn in hell including the people in it (except for the workmates I love)

I can't believe that it's May. My students have to correct me several times when I wrote April on the whiteboard. My head still hasn't move on. My head is still in April. I couldn't grasp of what has been happening all around me. it's getting ridiculous day by day. I don' mean the students but the teachers themselves. Ironically, they're being the kids. civil fights, sneaky snakes everywhere I tell you, my school now is a warpath. everybody is in the bad mood. They don't work together as one anymore and that sucks.

while I'm, on the other hand trying to hypnotize myself that nothing is weird in the school and everything is normal. It's hard to pretend that everything is fine. I am more than pleased with the kids now compared to the teachers. they don't portray themselves as teachers at all. not me I'm not a teacher. I'm an educator. Educator knows how to be professional and how to handle things maturely. while teachers, more to follow their guts.

and just when I want to take some rest, chillax, singing my heart out, there's always will be an interference  by some people. yesterday my boss send me a text ordered me to replace a teacher at school to go to teacher's carnival at JB and I was like 'aahh what the heck..' I said yes. School is too damn moody anyway so I went. It was quite fun and I made new friend. turns out to be my housemate's friend. Life outside the school circle is pretty amazing but inside the school, it turns me from a happy little pony, Twilight sparkle into a wicked witch real quick.

I haven't bought anything for teacher's day. They planned to exchange gift but my vision said, this year's gonna be sucks. Teacher's Day my ass, they won't even tolerate with me to go back this holiday. just because of one flight ticket, they make a big fuss about it. can't even go back to my hometown peacefully.

you know, one thing that I realized, it's hard to be nice around people nowadays when all I get back is hatred. it's hard to please people. which I'm trying my best not take it into heart. but, it somehow affect me too.. I don't mean to boost myself up but I'm honestly, honestly a very nice girl. I would tolerate with you no matter what and as many as I can. but I'm very particular about living my life right, do my job well and basically my life. once they started to mess with one of these list, there's only one thing that I wish them, I wish them burn in hell. I'm fine as long as you don't interfere with how I do my job, how I plan with my routine daily, buy my ticket and such. cause there's no need to make a big issue about it, it's sensitive at least for me. Cause I'm living far away from my parents. I rarely go back home. at least have a little empathy you heartless people.

and as the people are getting cruel, I'm trying my best not to be one of them. I'm always keeping my integrity and professionalism. hoping that one day I wouldn't stay in school for a very long time. cause if you stayed long enough, it will make you rusty in and out. physically and emotionally. you'd became selfish bastards like those people. they don't care anymore. pray one day your future children didn't come across these kind of teachers cause that would be unfortunate.

but whatever I do, I always say, everything is going to be fine. just keep on improving, progressing and grow.

Love,
Rushy