so this month things go quiet well. except for I have a minor surgery for my wisdom teeth tomorrow. I mean, life looks pretty amazing without going to the dentist. Works at school are getting crazier. I'm just glad that I did book my flight ticket to Bali. A holiday to spare. A place to escape for a while for this insanity. I need that. I need that escapism for a while to stay sane and to survive in education system. and in case you haven't notice, or if you ever came across by blog link. I've been on hiatus for 30 days, trying to avoid instagram and twitter for a while. reasons? not so much. just trying to prove to myself that I can survive without those two social meds. besides, I think that instagram makes me feel bad about myself. Like I'm blaming myself every time, saying I'm not good enough whenever looking at the others' pictures. and it's not good. It's not good to be hard on yourself. and I don't wanna blame myself everytime I scroll down instagram, downgraded myself, feeling so little by looking at the rest of instagrammers. I know I'm not supposed to feel like that. There's nothing to compare. but I think it's human's nature to be jealous, or feeling not good enough and feeling you wanted more of anyone out there. I believe to avoid things that can make you feel down is important. you need to run from things that makes you feel unhappy. and I believe you need to avoid in whatever cases that you don't feel good about yourself. and I think self love is important. I love myself. I don't want to always blaming myself saying 'they are better than you', 'she is prettier than you', it's just a sick sick mentality to live with. and when it happens, you're trying too hard to impress other people. and I don't live like that. instagram before this, was never like that. I gotta say that I'm one of the early users of instagram. most of them are just posted pictures of their memories. something good to know, something good to look at, something memorable. but now, society changes instagram's purpose itself. some started to show off whatever clothes they're wearing instead of good memorable pictures. fashion people are good to follow but, sometimes it's just go waaaay over the line. starting to show what they're really not. fakes everywhere. trying to prove what's good at the front solely. it's just sad. how a social media can change your perception. so, I feel bad for teenagers who need to grow up with these kind of mentality around them. I don't know what I would do if I were them if I had an instagram at a very young age. probably stressing a lot of what I should upload to make my friends like all my pictures. another burden to look upon into. another stupid one task to be think over nothing.
twitter is one thing. well, for me, twitter has become my favorite stream to connect with virtual people. honestly, it's not all bad on twitter. some really give good thoughts about something related to education, politics or entertainment. and I like knowing. and honestly, I get to know the latest news, faster than a tv. I don't even have to wait for 8 o'clock news on tv anymore. but one thing is, my problem. it's my own habit. to always want to scroll a twitter and tweet whatever cross my mind. I don't to become too addictive with my own virtual people. I want to connect with real people. speak with them face to face. look at their genuine reaction when they're laugh or smile. it's more towards on being active in a real world. not just scrolling your phone and look down on it even when you're walking around a mall. I think to withdrawal from something negative is pretty good effort for yourself. it makes you wanna do better in whatever that you're doing. I'm not even sure if the people in my social meds notice my absence. or wasn't they don't notice at all? and would I care? hell no. they're not even my real friends. My real friends would be the one who calls me and text me. who always see myself as I am. not by judging my photos in instagram or from a facebook status.
so, I don't know how many more weeks from this withdrawal. I wouldn't even bother to count. instagram and twitter have become part of me til it bothers me if I didn't open it for at least in a week. that's how addictive I am. Maybe for others, those two aren't much but as for me, it's the only social stream that I'm active. I have gave up on facebook a long time ago. that's why I think I need to have at least one stream that makes me feel connected on whatever's happening outside and inside the country or across the globe. I have another two tho which are tumblr and this loving old fashioned blog. but these two aren't addictive as instagram makes me. or twitter. I guess I don't live up to society's expectation. I mean, I don't live for them. I live for myself. I'm almost finish and reading about Bali. Next trip. My action research is almost done. it's like about 1% probably. waiting for my sharvin's confirmation and we need to combine our project paper. one thing that I always care about my instagram is my pictures. they're memorable. I don't post it for fun. Each of it has its own meaning. each of it has its own story to tell. my post this time is a lil bit longer cause I might not get the chance to update it. Next month, August is another super busy month. but there's a reward at the end of it (Bali!), that's what I like about August. So, I'm looking forward for August. I know I should my travel post story here but ummh..it's just that too mainstream? might as well you just check up my instagram. *smiley face*
Love,
Rushy
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