Big life decisions

I have so much going on in my mind right now. 2018 hasn’t even started yet but I got so many plans for it. and it all involve big amount of money. Idk how am I going to plan that out but I know what I want. I tried to put pieces together in my head of which one I wanna do first. And it gets really frustrated when I can’t do it all at one go. I have some pressure is coming the other side pushing to just go with it but I’m stuck. Stuck in the decision. I’m afraid that if I decided to take it all, I would carry all of the burdens due to my decisions. There are consequences and that I’m afraid, I couldn’t take it. like how I bad I wanted to go somewhere but at the same time I’m afraid I’m doing other thing that wouldn’t let me.

So I’m still, in big life decisions where it would somehow change my future a bit. Do you think I’m talking about marriage?hahaha no, not even close. Well, sometimes I DO miss going out with someone I considered special in a way where we could hang on, have a chat over coffee, watching movie, walking around. Or talk about that person among my friends of how he is, how his personality is, what’s going on about his life and all, his activities. Of how he would call me anytime, text me anytime without feeling awkward. Those kinda moments to be honest, I kinda miss it. but, well uhhh..I’m still okay with this kinda life and enjoy it as it is so I guess that’s all that matters now.

Love,

Rushy