fight like a woman (Happy International Women's Day)

these few days, my workmates who I considered them as sisters from different moms, decided to practice a healthy lifestyle. Don't know what got into them. I called them mak cik bawang because kak sam likes to stalk famous people instagrams or anyone who goes viral, rumors or gossips. I give it all to her. but she's really a kind hearted person. thats what I like about her. same goes with other workmates, they jog around their house area. as for me, I decided to run last January and I've been running for 11 times already but haven't even reached 2km. not even close.

but my stomach is like a monster. I have a high metabolism body. now that I realized it. yesterday, I ate stir fry mixed vegies and instant noodles. Evening, I went out, bought pastries and double cheeseburger. I devoured it all. I still have egg tart and chocolate ball in the fridge. don't what I was angry for..

maybe thinking over a fail relationship over and over again makes me mad. this week my hormone took on a ride like a roller coaster mode. I cried, I was depressed. letting myself getting hurt double triple times.

he finally stopped texting me. he finally give up I would assume. I know I should be fine by that but, don't know what I was crying for. was it because of living in a late 20s and always facing a fail relationship? that could be a reason. I cried like a baby then went out hunting for food. I need to cool myself down..I need to stop worrying or unless my breakouts are getting worse. enough with the hormonal changing now facing with this whole messy relationship? I have enough breakouts on my face already. my face became sensitive, dry and oily at the same time. even my face decided to put a rebel on me.

today I wake up with a muscle pain on my left hand. probably I didn't stretch properly before jogging yesterday morning.

Gosh..I really hope it get better. I'm not talking about the muscle pain. I'm talking about THIS WHOLE THING. that happened to me. I really need something good happening to me.

I need a win.

I really miss my family at times like this. I know they also don't want me to rush into marriage and relationship but, I just really want to sit close to them.

I don't fight strong enough on things that I want.