Across the border iii

Flight tickets are booked,preparations need to be done. I'm halfway there. Even though it's a small step, it's a step. 

this time, it's going to be a little bit sombrono and under budget travel.I'm wanderlust living thing, money won't be a problem. this is how I go travel under budget, thrift-style or whatever you call it. 

wait for it. 
now boarding:Medan,Indonesia. 


:)

I was planning to put my title for this entry called 'the spend-thrift' but something came up and I had to change it.I was quite upset about what happened but I didn't wanna bring the issue any longer.

it felt like I've been pushed away.totally not okay.I'm afraid that there's something wrong with me.it's whether they're afraid or I am not good enough for them. of course I felt frustrated cause this happened two or three times before.I was never thought that they're pushing a lil bit more harder than before and heck, I was totally felt like I've been isolated.I mean, why? you see this worries me.because it involving the important matter and it will be affect me too.if it's going to be like this for the rest of the year, I'm afraid that I can't continue any longer. 

fin

living a moment

Tried my best not to leave my blog on hiatus.It's really hate to see my blog without any updates actually.I stole some times to spend for blogging.It became contagious and it got all over me.which I didn't take that as a bad sign.this semester, we get busier.no chance to go back early, coursework/subjects briefing, BIG program (phase five), plus with the practicum this April, to adapt with kinda new style of studying or 'working'.only three papers to sit for an exam, while the rests are hundred percent coursework. I'm not sure whether I could cope with that.sounds all right, but we will be ridiculously haywire later to finish the tasks and chasing the datelines.know that it's not going to be easy. InsyaAllah, I prepared for the rough paths.nak jadi cikgu kan? haha.


This is life you see.Today, you might be laughing your ass off with your friends, having a nice conversation, chit-chatting or sharing gossip.It's fun. In fact, it's addictive.You wanna laugh like  almost every day.filled with happiness, blossomed with laughter. and the next day, you might spilled your coffee on your shirt, your heels broke,stuck on a traffic, forgot the agendas that you must do. and all you wanna do is cry.to cut short,you'd failed that day. You suck at life, that day.you lose the fun moment.but mind you that you gotta live that moment no matter how suck it is.I know it's bitter, but you gotta swallow it.because you can search that happiness again.it will come to you,naturally.everyday is your lucky day.be blessed, be grateful. don't forget as a muslim, give thanks to Allah. Alhamdulillah..alhamdulillah..

:) 

cupful of gratitude

(the entry that supposed to be posted last year.)

I don't know when my blog started to become visible by others.best la kot.omygod.perasan sekejap.but,anyways.this post is especially for my honest followers.I wanna thank you for following my whatsoever-not-so-interesting blog in your list.I maybe don't know what have interest you in following mine,right? 

because this blog was private and I never told anyone that I have one.except for Am.I don't know when,where or how I told her that I created a blog.because without anyone knows.I could write all the things that I want.without people you know realizing it.so,it all started when I signed myself in the Teacher Trainee institute.with so many things to study and so many things happened here during the foundation years made me think and came across "I gotta note this.need to keep all these." and that's when I realize that I wanna create a blog.to keep the memories in.maybe I could just snap loads of photos but without words in it? it'll become meaningless.

so,I started to update some posts.which was in the first place very awkward for me to write.it's like you are talking to you.there's someone in your soul speaking to you.pretty creepy?haha.and I keep continue updating more and more and I become comfortable with it.its sort of the feeling of relaxation and mind peace that I got.I can just throw everything here.some people ask "why don't you make it private?" I mean,is that necessary? because I believe that people don't interested in what you are posted.because its related to your life,not theirs.so,I didn't think that people will read my posts.but.I was wrong.

first creating a blog.I ask someone "followers ni untuk ape?apa fungsi followers?" then she answered (tak ingat dah sape,sorry..) "Followers untuk sape2 yang nak follow blog kita.."
"ada ke yang nak follow?kenapa dia nak follow?"
"ye la..ada je..dia nak baca kita punya posts."

and I was thinking "wow,people do that? they really wanna know what other people are doing? unbelievable... " because I thought in the first place,it is not interesting to 'read' other's life(s).but now, I'm getting hang of it and started to accepting what is the purpose of 'followers'.

I don't mind if I don't have thousands of followers.because this blog is not meant to be read publicly in the first place.and now, I don't think that I wanna make it private anymore because I wanna let people from all over the world read what I have been through in my life.that's the important thing.so,that's why I appreciate that you have noted this and came across my blog.thank you so much.

xoxo,
R.

fin

=)

now boarding:Cambodia (photos)

please do enjoy. :)

passport-checked,purse-checked,phones-checked

packages

Subhanallah ain't it?

details you ought to fill before pass the border

because it's easier to walk with a flat ballet rather than heels

Zati smiling broadly.first timer. :)

after 50 minutes,Hello Cambodia.

rode that. :D

first makan..don't mind the oily faces.it's been a long day.hak

creepy much?

a small room for torture 

big pot to drown people.remember I told you about this?

school which been modified into prisons of torture

you don't get this sight in Malaysia

First dawn

lovely Zarina and the villagers

first Raya

these kids are so damn adorable

Made by Malaysia

Headed to Hotel Asia

woa..Axn.lol

last but not least.the souvenirs..

credit to my Galaxy Y.

random

some pictures that I had taken before off to Singapore..it was a bliss moment.

excogitate (part 1)

February.another month that doesn't come easily to me.but,there's only one thing that I believe for sure.normal.everything will back in normal again.back on reality,stand on the real core of world with my two feet again.doing the same stuff all over again without any sides of unnecessary.don't panic.you don't have to understand what I mean.cause if you're trying too,you'll never get it.but,InsyaAllah.everything will back in normal.


yet.


those 'unkind' moments had gripped me to the weirdness and abnormality.I felt estranged by society for a while.It's like I've been lost into a 'new' world with full of uncertainty whether you can come out safely or will be dead, pride-less.but, there's people who daringly rip off the black holes of the new world and escape from brutalities.


I think I'm one of them.


just wait.I'm ready to pull the trigger at anytime.

La Tahzan

my brother shared a link in Fb.it's a wonderful speech from Dr. Mohd Asri Zainal Abidin.I don't really have time to share in blog cause it takes time to download it.but feel free to open my wall.I have to tell you, it is really touching speech.yes.we tend to forget.about all the things that Allah has give to us.and we always take it for granted.

she's a legend

I must say that Scheherazade was a legend woman.she was a Persian story teller for King Shahryar. the story started when the king would marry a new virgin every day. after they married, the virgin had to tell a story about anything.after the story was finished, he would beheaded the virgin the next morning.then,he would marry a new virgin over and over again.he had killed more than one thousands virgin during that era.the reason why he did that because he was angry when he found out that his first wife betraying on him.the vicious killing kept continue until he met with vizier's daughter, Sheherazade. 


She herself volunteered to marry with the king and ought to tell a story. but the father was refused to give his daughter to the king because he knew that the king was going to kill his daughter the next day. Still, Scheherazade convinced the father. finally, she get married with the king. what Scheherazade did was, for the first night, she was telling the story but she won't finish it that night and told to the king she would continue it the next night.so, the king had to postpone her execution.whenever the night passed by, she would stop and told the king there was no time.the next day, the king would spare a life to listen to her magnificent stories. the king had to kept alive Scheherazade until the one thousand and one nights, Scheherazade told the king that she had no more stories to tell.finally, the king fell in love with her and deeply in love with her.


very mysterious but nice story tough.well, even the beginning is quite cruel.but, Scheherazade had safe other virgins' life. another thing is, Rimsky Korsakov had composed a classical music,also called Scheherazade.this music of Scheherazade has told to the world the story life of her.because once we listen to this classical music, we will know how was Scheherazade's feeling during that time if we were in her shoe.what I can tell,this music has given a very very enormous blow for the world for orchestra. 

suggest you to read the history about her. ^_^

sorry for being oversensitive

you know what? I think I start to accept one of the annoying traits in the universe:oversensitive.I hate being sensitive.hate being angry of little things my friends said though it didn't really mean a thing.when they say something,I tried to laugh them back,trying to accepting the tease but sometimes, it just didn't work it.at the end,I will end up heart broken and thinking all the way 'why she said like that?' 'is it true?'.I don't know what to do anymore.I guess the only thing I can do now is apologize for being oversensitive.


sorry friends.

I overthink a lot

after reviewing back my posts.I got the feeling that my hearts speaks louder than my head.seriously I feel so embarrassed and there's a lot of grammar mistakes, silly words,weird statements and the sentences seem pretty funny and odd. reading all those past entries with very very long paragraphs make me wonder..even though sometimes I'm trying to deny myself that I'm not that really crazy blog-writer...


but I still wonder.


hope you didn't laugh when you were reading my posts last time.


wait.you're smiling now right? 
or laugh?  
or your face is pretty much like this now; 


=_=


haha.I'm a psychic. 

confession

I don't know how I'm going to say this,but,I'm going to anyhow.I have to.I mean,it hurts.

ok.so,all of us are not perfect and the percentage to be criticized by your friends are 65 percent. me? 99.999 percent.I got criticized all the time.eeeeverytime.I don't really know what's that person's problem.am not perfect? sure enough we're not.am I dumb? a little bit crazy yea..but,being the victim of criticism is just to much.way down too much.I couldn't careless about this before but,I just can take it any longer now..it's okay if its just among us in a circle but do you have to tell other friends? 
sorry if the real me is disturbing you.but, I will not entertain you by behaving so damn poise as much as I can JUST to make sure that the people praise me or talk nice about me.let me say it this way,I don't give a damn what people want to say about me as long as I'm not breaking the rules of religion,social or norms.this is who I am,and nobody said you had to like it.I always imagine that you could drink your words and realize how bitter they taste.then,you'll know how I feel.and of course, my attitude is based on how you treat me.


but I hate when it comes to this,cause no matter how hard and hurtful your words are.I can't neglected you just like that.cause I already took and consider you as my best friend's lists.you should be lucky.